Meditation 101
If you’re a human being in 2019, you’ve probably heard about meditation. Perhaps you’ve rolled your eyes at #influencer staged portraits of skinny, rich white women meditating in Bali, or celebrities proselytizing about how meditation can make you 10% happier. Or maybe you’ve received heartfelt advice about meditation from doctors, therapists, friends or family and really considered trying it — just never quite got around to it. Whatever your relationship to meditation, if you haven’t yet tried it or developed a regular practice, I want to provide some resources and insight to make it as easy as possible, and hopefully convince you to give it a try.
Why? Because there actually are profound benefits to meditation. And these benefits can change your relationship to yourself and to the world around you. Because life is precious and beautiful, and it is worth creating space and time to orient yourself intentionally within it. I am by no means an expert, but a lot of meditation can generally be chalked up to the cultivation of acceptance, compassion, presence, gratitude and love. And in a capitalist society that profits from us believing ourselves to be inadequate, finding even a moment to pause and embrace life, just as it is, can be radically healing.
I spent the better part of my life battling manic depression and anxiety. After my last foray into the throes of deep despair and suicidal thoughts, I decided I needed to make drastic changes in my life if I was going to continue to live. Meditation is the single most important outcome of that revelation. By no means do I never experience anxiety or depression anymore, but my toolkit for coping has expanded beyond what I ever could have imagined, and the effect has been soothing and transformative.
Your skepticism is valid. Your busy schedule is valid. Your busy mind is completely acceptable and welcome. All of that is okay. If you’re on the fence about trying meditation, I ask you to simply give it a try. I’ll provide some possibilities below, and you can follow some or all or none of them. But the most important thing, even (*especially*) when your mind or life is feeling too cluttered for meditation, is to stick with it anyway. Like any practice, repetition is how you grow. Please note that you do not need to identify with spirituality in any way to enjoy the benefits of meditation; you may simply be drawn to certain forms of meditations (e.g. breath meditations) over others (e.g. chakra meditations). That is a-okay!
Lastly, you deserve to feel okay. That’s what this comes down to; you should meditate because you (yas you!) deserve to feel absolutely whole, loved, safe, present and at ease. And no matter what your background is — when life throws all the crap at you that life will invariably throw, you deserve to have an inner landscape that reflects this utmost truth about who you are.
Okay, so how do I meditate?
Amazing question! There are so many ways to meditate. You could meditate while walking or doing the dishes or drawing — the possibilities are endless. I’m encouraging you here to cultivate a practice of stillness, since that tends to be what many of us in Western societies are conditioned to be so averse to (when is the last time that you guiltlessly did literally nothing — and/or something that served absolutely no “productive” purpose whatsoever?). I’m going to detail some options for how to do this, but let’s start with a few key points:
1. MEDITATION DOES NOT REQUIRE YOU TO HAVE ZERO THOUGHTS! That is a myth. Even the most experienced ascetics living in remote mountains still get distracted. Thoughts are an inevitable and welcome sign of being alive. Fear not if you find yourself overwhelmed by thinking.
2. Mindfulness is an essential part of meditation — the ability to recognize, accept and be present with whatever arises. When thoughts come up, the key is to allow them with compassion. Do not let them subsume you. Try not to cave into guilt, judgment or other narratives about the thoughts. Identify them as what they are: passing clouds in the vast sky that is your mind. Acknowledge with compassion whatever it is that needs to make itself known in your mind. Then come back to your breath. A lot of the time, attempting to cultivate elements of wellbeing can very quickly bring up the opposite. That is totally fine. Investigate what it’s like when you bring compassion and acceptance to feelings of guilt, anger, anxiety, sadness, or grief. Even if it feels contrived. Practice it anyway. Again and again and again.
3. When you get off-track, bring it back. It bears repeating: you will get distracted. It’s ok! Bring it back to your breath. Your breath is the ideal mechanism for re-centering and finding an embodied, mindful presence, because it’s the ultimate sign of life. Our survival-oriented brains are hardwired with negativity biases, which means that we’re always on some level freaking out about survival. It’s very normal! We’re just animals somewhere in the endless spectrum of evolution, still contending with those naughty, scarcity-obsessed reptilian brains. That said, bringing attention back to your breath is a way that you can help build new neural pathways to combat the prevalence of the negativity bias; every time you find yourself overwhelmed or stressed (in meditation or IRL), bring attention back to the rise and fall of your tummy or chest. That is life coursing through your body. You are alive. And in most cases, you’re probably safe. Remember that, and try to appreciate the slow and methodical rhythm of your breath, your life.
4. No time is too little for meditation. Even if you only have 30 seconds in a day, that’s awesome!!! You don’t need to sit for an hour in order to achieve benefits of meditation. If you have time to really be still, wonderful. But even if you’re only giving yourself 30 seconds on the bus or at a stoplight to practice some breathing techniques (with eyes open, hopefully if you’re doing the latter), that is 100% amazing. Build up if and when you can, but anything is better than nothing ^_^
5. Check in with how you feel. Before, during and after meditation, check in. Most of us are used to suppressing what we’re feeling, as emotions that aren’t “positive” are typically considered burdensome and/or undesirable in Western society. That is a bunch of malarkey. It’s invaluable to start finding a way of getting an internal weather check; this way, you can discover things that work for you (or don’t) and build up the means of self-care that work best for you. I recommend journaling for this, but if you prefer something less involved, you can simply ask yourself, “How am I feeling?” before starting a meditation, and then ask yourself the same question once you’re done. Be sure to listen to your body — it rarely lies. The mind can have a way of convincing us that we’re feeling things differently than we actually are. Whatever you feel is valid and okay.
Alright, let’s get down to the meditations!
As previously mentioned, there are many ways to meditate. For simplicity, I’m going to focus on two routes: breathing meditations that you can pick up and do anywhere, anytime, and a few guided app-based meditations from the exquisite (and free!!) app Insight Timer.
Breathing Meditations:
You don’t need anything except lungs for breathing meditation. A few tips: nose breathing is recommended but absolutely not necessary if it’s not comfortable for you. Adapt if any of the lengths listed are too long or short. Go for however long feels nice and accessible to you. Bring attention back to rise and fall of your tummy/chest when distractions arise. You can be seated, lying down, or have your legs up the wall — whatever will make you most comfy. Eyes closed is recommended — you can focus your closed eyes at the place between your eyebrows if that is comfortable. Insight Timer also has a timer functionality that enables you to set a precise time for your meditation (with a lovely customizable bell) so you don’t have to glance at the clock.
· Box breath: This technique involves equal beats for inhaling, pausing, exhaling, pausing, and so on. Simply inhale while counting to 4 (or 5 or 6 or 3 or whatever is comfortable — you can adjust as you go along), hold breath at the top for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, and hold for 4 at the bottom. Rinse and repeat! Go on for however long feels nice.
· Alternate nostril breathing: Using your dominant hand, take your second and third fingers and place them between your eyebrows. Close one nostril with your thumb. Inhale through the open nostril for 4 counts (or 3/5/6/etc), place your fourth finger over that nostril and hold at the top for 4, then remove your thumb and exhale through that nostril for 4. Close it and hold at the bottom for 4, then remove your thumb and inhale through that same nostril for 4. Close and hold at the top for 4, then remove the fourth finger and exhale through that side again for 4. Repeat for as long as ya like.
· 3-part breath: Inhaling very slowly and deeply, notice breath fill first your stomach, then your diaphragm (around the area where your chest and belly meet), and finally your chest. Pause at the top for a moment, then notice the same pattern in reverse — the fall of your chest, then your diaphragm and finally your belly. Pause at the bottom. Omit pauses if they’re uncomfortable. Feel free to count the pace of the breaths if that is helpful for focusing.
Guided Meditations:
There are so many extraordinary guided meditations on Insight Timer, it’s hard to select just a few. I still can’t comprehend the generosity of all the teachers who give these gifts away for free. Personally, I have found guided meditations to be easier and more approachable when it comes to trying meditation early on (frankly, I still prefer this method). If you’ve tried guided meditation before, please note that there is a vast array of content out there, so I would encourage you to try again even if you didn’t feel like it was for you. I’ll give some descriptions below of different styles I’m highlighting, as they are all quite different. Feel free to mix and match and see what works for you!
Yoga Nidra. Yoga nidra, also known as yogic sleep, is a deeply relaxing and embodied form of meditation. It’s a rich practice that draws attention to each part of your body, and then explores different layers of your being (e.g. playing with feelings — experiencing opposite sensations of heat and then cold, and then both at the same time. Practicing the same thing with opposite emotions can be a powerful way of physiologically teaching yourself that even strong emotions like depression can coexist with a sense of joy and wellbeing; that you contain multitudes).
This is my favorite form of meditation, as I find that it is the most connective (and lasting) way of feeling and bringing relaxation, acceptance and often joy to every aspect of your being — physical, emotional and spiritual. NOTE: Yoga nidra should preferably be done lying on your back (if you’re familiar with yoga, this would be shavasana or corpse pose) on the floor or a bed. It’s best to support your body with props like pillows and blankets so you’re as comfy as possible. It’s totally fine if you fall asleep — use that as information, your bod is telling you that you are tired — but if possible, try to carve out space and time to stay awake and aware during this practice.
·iRest Yoga Nidra for a Restful Nap — 7 minutes. Shortest practice from a deeply nourishing tradition of yoga nidra.
· Yoga Nidra — 15 minutes. Great shorter nidra if you’re not comfortable with a longer practice
· Classic Yoga Nidra: Loved Beyond Comprehension — 20 minutes. Sweet and short nidra focused on love.
· Moon Dancer Yoga Nidra for Creativity — 26 minutes. This is a meditation from one of my favorite teachers; she conveniently has a yoga nidra for beginners on Insight Timer as well, and tons of other free amazing guided meditations on her website.
· Yoga Nidra Freedom Nature — 30 minutes. This one is lovely to use deliberately for sleep as well.
· Bonus: Setting a Sankalpa — 6 minutes. You’ll notice that yoga nidra practices mostly include the invocation of a “sankalpa,” or heartfelt desire/intention. It’s typically a positive, present-tense statement, such as “I am love,” or “I am enough,” or whatever it is that you would like to manifest in your life. It will feel goofy at first if you’re not used to this kind of thing. No prob! Do it anyway. These kinds of affirmations transcend the punitive and limiting nature of resolutions, which also makes them a lot more effective. Most of us are so used to the cacophony of negative self-talk, practicing even a few lines of positive self-talk can feel “silly.” Show that negativity bias who’s BOSS.
Gratitude Meditations. Practicing gratitude is scientifically proven to improve many aspects of your mental and physical health. Again, much of Western society is predicated on amplifying our scarcity-based “not-enoughness.” Gratitude combats this and can shift your perspective in relation to the innumerable events unfolding in your life that you simply cannot control.
· We Are Blessed Today — 8 minutes. Beautiful morning gratitude meditation to start your day.
· Morning Ritual — 10 minutes. Another sweet way to wake up.
· Gratitude — 16 minutes. All of this woman’s meditations are exquisite.
Lovingkindness. Lovingkindness, or “metta” in Buddhist tradition, is a way of bringing compassion to yourself, to others and the world. To take a moment of your day to generate kindness and good will towards yourself and others can be a potent experience. Particularly if you’ve been suffering from any inner narratives that you are somehow “bad” or “not enough.”
·Metta Meditation — 5 minutes. Short and beautiful lovingkindness practice.
·Morning Mirror Self-Love Practice — 5 minutes. Not traditional metta, but a sweet way to build love with yourself and start the day on a high note.
· Lovingkindness on the Go — 6 minutes. A quick way to get the benefits of metta.
· Blessings of Love — 11 minutes. Tara Brach is a renowned teacher with an exceptional healing and meditation podcast. Can’t recommend the podcast enough!
Forgiveness. Forgiveness can be a struggle for many of us. Meditation can help move that process along and facilitate healing and growth.
· Holding on, Letting Go — 4 minutes. Beautiful meditation from Ruth King.
·On Forgiveness — 4 minutes. Short but insightful and healing practice of forgiving.
· Forgiveness Meditation — 11 minutes. Short practice from prominent teacher Jack Kornfield.
Sleep. I’m including a few sleep meditations in here, as I know sleep can be a big struggle in our hyper-connected, anxious world. But please, try to complement sleep meditations with waking meditations as well. The latter will make your sleep easier and better.
· Deep Sleep Meditation with Affirmations: Radiant Health, Healing and Happiness — 1 hour. This guy has such a soothing voice and beautiful music accompanying it. You are destined to be out like a lamp.
· Healing Darkness for Sleep — 30 minutes. Yoga nidra practice that will either lull you to sleep, or make you feel really calm.
· Sleep in Peace: 1.2 Hz Binaural Beats — 1 hour. For many people, music (and especially binaural beats) can function better for relieving sleeplessness than words some or all the time.
Miscellaneous. I’m throwing a few extras out there for folks who are interested in trying other meditations outside of the categories I listed above.
· One Minute Meditation — 1 minute for a quick breathing meditation
·Stress and Anxiety Buster — 2 minute mood booster when you’re feeling desperate and in a hurry.
·Being With Painful Feelings — 4 minutes. An invaluable practice for those who are used to numbing or avoiding difficult feelings.
· Tibetan Singing Bowls with Ocean Sounds — 33 minutes. Sound baths can be deeply relaxing. You can play it while you do chores, work, meditate, or simply need to relax. Try different ones and see which resonate.
·I Am Everything by Beautiful Chorus — 7 minutes. A song you can also listen to as background music, but this happens to be incredibly beautiful, empowering and grounding. You can also catch their stuff on Spotify!
· Opening Your Chakras — 17 minutes. This one is for those who are interested in exploring a more spiritual side of meditation.
I hope some of this is helpful for you. I support any effort that you are willing to put into creating a practice, and I sincerely hope and believe that it will bring you peace. Thanks for reading, and please feel free to ask any questions or reach out if you’d like further recommendations!
May you be happy, may you be healthy in body and mind, may you be safe from internal and external harm, may you be at ease.
❤
