No, Kelly. I’m not “trying to convince” anyone of anything. I’m pointing out some issues and critiquing media, which you and any other reader can choose to simply not read, ignore, disagree with, or reckon with in whatever way feels authentic and meaningful to you.
Kelly, there is a long history of employing “comedy” as a means of reinforcing harmful and oppressive cultural norms and behaviors. This is a common tool in propaganda, which is why it’s always important to be critical of comedy. Comedy doesn’t exist in a vacuum; it’s always a microcosm of culture, which is why things like minstrel shows were once also considered comedic by most people, though nowadays such a thing would rightfully be considered ghastly and offensive. The tendency to write something off as “comedy” and disabuse it of any accountability for the implications of what has been said is dangerous- even if “jokingly,” like many of the disgusting remarks uttered by our former president. We can’t live in a version of reality where anything can be selectively written off as a joke in order to avoid potential harm that real words caused, and whether we like it or not, humor is something that is interpreted endlessly across different people. There can be no objective consensus across an entire society as varied as ours on what actually constitutes “comedy” or something that is benignly funny.
When you say they didn’t set out to send a harmful message, I’m in full agreement. But this is an important message for anyone and everyone in a culture that is steeped in oppression that is most often manifested in ways that are unintentional and sometimes even relatively subtle: there doesn’t need to be a noose or even a premeditated attempt at harming people in order to cause harm, to reflect overtly or subtly prejudicial views or to otherwise bring people down based on things they can’t control like their race or gender or religion etc.
I would encourage you not to invoke lots of people liking it as evidence that any of my individual critiques are wrong. After all, most people were on board with Nazi Germany. There is enough fallacious and historically damaging evidence of mob mentality to indicate that preferences alone en masse are not evidence of moral virtue or quality. I would rather you have explained to me why you specifically don’t find Ray’s accent tokenizing or offensive or any of the other points I raised. Recall that most people in America are completely fine with systemic racism (see the entire history of this country) so it’s intuitive that most people probably wouldn’t care enough to think twice about its appearance in their favorite show.
Kelly, I honestly appreciate and respect that this show has brought you and many others joy in a dark time. You have every right to like the show and as I’ve said to many others on here, it’s okay to enjoy problematic content — NOTHING is perfect and nothing should be expected to be. The reason we critique media is to ensure that A) we can always keep doing better and moving forward in a meaningful and compassionate and inclusive way, and B) to pursue a necessary balance between enjoying content and being critical of it. The idea that you have to completely turn your brain off in order to relax is untrue and actually just avoidant. And you also don’t need to constantly be seeking out problems either; but there is a way to dial back binary thinking that everything is either singularly bad or good and embrace whatever amount of critical thinking feels available while also relaxing and enjoying the complexity of whatever you’re engaging with.
Kelly it really saddens me that you see media critiques as “hatred.” I enjoyed the show. We need media criticism because the media is a reflection of society and vice versa, and they constantly change each other. Fearing your favorite content being challenged is tantamount to fearing your own self being challenged, which is a normal reaction but ultimately unhealthy and unproductive for the world that we should all strive to build. Have you ever heard of “toxic positivity?” It’s the concept that everything around you and all of your emotions “should” be positive. It’s entirely antithetical to human behavior and nature, and it’s also avoidant and suppressive. We need critiques that may be perceived as “negative” just as much or maybe even more than we need glowing reviews of “Pose” or “13 Going on 30” that I could just as easily write. And maybe i will write those too someday! But discussing this has been a calling for me, and I think it’s good that it’s provoked you this way. It’s a cornerstone of a very toxic WASP culture to simply be quiet when you don’t like or disagree with something — including when that something causes real, tangible harm. We can have dialogues and disagree. No problem Kelly, that is productive! I hope you can see this as a little more nuanced. Let me know if this makes sense.
